Episode 275: New Beginnings of Spring

The Working Actor Road Map I don't know about you, 2024 is not exactly what I expected it would be in this industry. And, I'm after the strikes and, after everything we went through last year, seriously? This is it?  Now, of course, there are reasons for this.  There's the potential IATSE strike and the industry contraction. But the problem is that I don't know about you, but I'm left with feelings. And I thought that, since we just moved our clocks, I thought I would make this episode about spring and new beginnings.  In fact, I had friends over for dinner the other night, and my dear friend brought me this beautiful plant. It had hyacinths and tulips. Of course, she knows I'm a Dutch girl. I love tulips. You can't go wrong with tulips and daffodils. And every time I look at it, it just makes me smile and it makes me feel good because spring is a time of renewal.  So today I'm going to be talking about new beginnings and renewal. And one of those things that I need to renew is the way I look at things and resentments. Expectations are premeditated resentments.  And I guess that's what I had about the industry.  I thought we'd all be running back to it in January, and it seems to be, just a simmer, hopefully into a boil later this year. So here we go.  The Language of Letting Go “Resentments are the blocks that hold us back from loving ourselves and others. Resentments do not punish the other person, they punish us. They become barriers to feeling good and enjoying life. They prevent us from being in harmony with the world. Resentments. are hardened chunks of anger. They loosen and dissolve with forgiveness and letting go.” So there's a lot to unpack there. But this is the thing. It's like when I have a resentment against something else or the business at large, people, places, things, situations. What happens for me is it's I'm taking poison and I'm expecting something else to be affected by that.  I'm taking the poison and expecting someone else to die or to suffer.  When ultimately with resentments, what's really happening is I am the person who's suffering.  And a lot of the time, and this is something I was talking about with a client the other day, is that really, the person I'm resenting and angry at is me.  And that's the whole thing.  I love this thing of resentments are hardened chunks of anger. That's not helping me. And it certainly doesn't help me as an artist.  As an artist, I want to be movable, malleable, changeable.  And resentment stops that.  She goes on to say, “letting go of resentments does not mean we allow the other person to do anything to us that he or she or they want. It means we accept what happened in the past and we set boundaries for the future. We can let go of resentments and still have boundaries.” Forgiving is not forgetting. It's letting go of the hurt because the only person that the hurt is hurting is me. And we can have boundaries and we can forgive.  And a lot of times, like I said a little bit earlier is that the person I need to forgive most is me.  For allowing myself to be treated like that, or for actions I may have done that may have not been in my own best interest.  Because I find a lot of the times I get angry at myself, it's because I did not advocate for me. I abandoned myself.  Sadly, in that moment, I wasn't emotionally intelligent enough to know how to take care of myself and to be emotionally self sufficient.  “We try to see the good in the person or the good that ultimately evolved from whatever incident we feel resentful about. We try and see our part. Then we put the incident to rest.” So there's this fabulous phrase, trace it, face it, erase it. I need to trace it. Then I need to face it and then I can let it go. It's also awareness. I need to become aware of the situation, accept that the situation is going on, and then I can take action. It's another couple other really important, fabulous tools. Praying for those or sending someone good thoughts for those people that we resent helps to asking the universe to take our resentments from us.  A very powerful prayer that I use a lot is thank you for taking away, if it's like an anger feeling, a resentment feeling, a fear feeling, thank you for taking this away from me, whatever that feeling is, and showing me where I can be of service. Show me what you would have me do, rather than wallow in anger. “What better way to begin this new time of year than by cleaning the slate of the past and entering this new season free of resentments.” I just I just love that because again, I feel expression fumbled the ball, I feel like 2024 in this industry, it's like we fumbled the ball somewhere and everybody's still looking around, like, where is it? And I think, again, another thing to remember is, and I'm going to give you another one of my slogans, is take care of yourself first and the rest will follow.  There is work to be done. There's always work to be done. This business and being an actor is a marathon. Not a sprint. It is a marathon, not a sprint.