#46 A Mother's Heart: Some Things Can't Be Fixed, They Can Only Be Carried.

Today is June 29th. Three years ago today, Steve and I were on the road, somewhere near Nashville, Tenn, when I received a call from Hampton. I will never forget the sound of my son's voice. He wailed, "Mom, Cameron killed himself." I was in shock, and suddenly it felt like I couldn't breathe. I don't even remember what I said; there are no mothering books for this one, but I know we turned around, went straight to the Nashville airport, and back to Texas. There's a verse in Genesis that says women will have pain in childbirth. It's a consequence of the fall. I take that to mean physical pain, but nowadays, that can be solved with an epidural. YES! It means physical pain, but perhaps more so it may speak of the mother's heart. The ache, worry, gut-punch we feel for our kids that carry with us for the rest of our lives. If you're a mom or you've mothered, you know what I'm talking about, don't you? I guess what I want to say to all of you who are nodding your head with me right now is that I knew that, but what no one told me was that my heart would ache, my mother's heart, for my kid's friends too. These kids that your kids keep bringing into your life, they too will become a part of your mother's heart.