130: Managing In Law Relationships in Pregnancy and Postpartum

What if YOUR idea of your birth plan and first few postpartum days differs wildly from what your in-laws imagine? How do you stay true to your values and set boundaries without causing an irreparable rift in the family? We’re tackling these topics and more on today’s show!   Felicia Hurst is a Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice, serving the needs of the Ardmore, Oklahoma community. She graduated with a Master’s of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from East Central University and has post-Master’s advanced training in perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. Her passion is working with women prior to conception, pregnancy, postpartum, and throughout motherhood, and spreading awareness about perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. In today’s show, she shares her background and professional experience, along with her personal experiences in setting boundaries with her in-laws and family. Don’t miss Felicia’s great tips that anyone can use in navigating these difficult conversations.   Show Highlights:   How the desire to have children affected decisions for her and her husband, as they waited for the right time How this anticipation played into perinatal mood and anxiety for Felicia Why they decided to set boundaries for her birth and postpartum time The expectations her in-laws had for the birth and postpartum, which wasn’t at all what Felicia wanted for her new family Having the difficult discussions about expectations that clearly weren’t in alignment with each other How people-pleasing can lead to regrets, a desire to withdraw, and even aggression How Felicia held boundaries with the nursing staff about limiting and prohibiting family visits in the hospital Coping with others’ hurt feelings while affirming your values and holding to your boundaries  Using a different approach with different family members How Felicia and her husband had discussions about the boundaries Why setting boundaries is important to have the kind of experience you want, without shame and regrets later on How you can get through it and come out on the other side Why it’s never too late to start setting boundaries, but setting them early on sets the stage for how things will go later and eliminates conflict ahead of time Felicia’s tips: Pick the right time and place to have the difficult conversations Be clear and direct in telling others your preferences about boundaries Communicate with family how they can support you best in helping out with cleaning, babysitting, cooking, running errands, etc.  Felicia’s advice: Be true to yourself, recognize what your values are, get clear on what’s important to you, and communicate to your partner and go from there Felicia’s work, which focuses on maternal mental health, and her position as Chair for Postpartum Support International’s Oklahoma chapter Felicia’s passion for educating people on perinatal mood and anxiety disorders and reducing the stigma around them How people in rural areas get the care they need, through Ob-gyns, nurses, midwives, and doulas   Resources:   www.feliciahursttherapy.com   Find Felicia on Facebook: Felicia Hurst, MS, LPC