EA - How altruistic perfectionism is self-defeating (Tim LeBon on The 80,000 Hours Podcast) by 80000 Hours

Link to original articleWelcome to The Nonlinear Library, where we use Text-to-Speech software to convert the best writing from the Rationalist and EA communities into audio. This is: How altruistic perfectionism is self-defeating (Tim LeBon on The 80,000 Hours Podcast), published by 80000 Hours on April 12, 2023 on The Effective Altruism Forum.Over at The 80,000 Hours Podcast we just published an interview that is likely to be of particular interest to people who identify as involved in the effective altruism community: Tim LeBon on how altruistic perfectionism is self-defeating.You can click through for the audio, a full transcript and related links. Below is the episode summary and some key excerpts.Episode summaryBeing a good and successful person is core to your identity. You place great importance on meeting the high moral, professional, or academic standards you set yourself.But inevitably, something goes wrong and you fail to meet that high bar. Now you feel terrible about yourself, and worry others are judging you for your failure. Feeling low and reflecting constantly on whether you're doing as much as you think you should makes it hard to focus and get things done. So now you're performing below a normal level, making you feel even more ashamed of yourself. Rinse and repeat.This is the disastrous cycle today's guest, Tim LeBon — registered psychotherapist, accredited CBT therapist, life coach, and author of 365 Ways to Be More Stoic — has observed in many clients with a perfectionist mindset.Tim has provided therapy to a number of 80,000 Hours readers — people who have found that the very high expectations they had set for themselves were holding them back. Because of our focus on "doing the most good you can," Tim thinks 80,000 Hours both attracts people with this style of thinking and then exacerbates it.But Tim, having studied and written on moral philosophy, is sympathetic to the idea of helping others as much as possible, and is excited to help clients pursue that — sustainably — if it's their goal.Tim has treated hundreds of clients with all sorts of mental health challenges. But in today's conversation, he shares the lessons he has learned working with people who take helping others so seriously that it has become burdensome and self-defeating — in particular, how clients can approach this challenge using the treatment he's most enthusiastic about: cognitive behavioural therapy.As Tim stresses, perfectionism isn't the same as being perfect, or simply pursuing excellence. What's most distinctive about perfectionism is that a person's standards don't vary flexibly according to circumstance, meeting those standards without exception is key to their self-image, and they worry something terrible will happen if they fail to meet them.It's a mindset most of us have seen in ourselves at some point, or have seen people we love struggle with.Untreated, perfectionism might not cause problems for many years — it might even seem positive providing a source of motivation to work hard. But it's hard to feel truly happy and secure, and free to take risks, when we're just one failure away from our self-worth falling through the floor. And if someone slips into the positive feedback loop of shame described above, the end result can be depression and anxiety that's hard to shake.But there's hope. Tim has seen clients make real progress on their perfectionism by using CBT techniques like exposure therapy. By doing things like experimenting with more flexible standards — for example, sending early drafts to your colleagues, even if it terrifies you — you can learn that things will be okay, even when you're not perfect.In today's extensive conversation, Tim and Rob cover:How perfectionism is different from the pursuit of excellence, scrupulosity, or an OCD personalityWhat leads people to adopt a perfectionist mindsetThe pros and cons of perfectionismHow 80,000 Hours contributes to perfectionism among some readers and listeners, and w...